I recently posted a personals ad looking to meet a specific type of guy: Brazilian, Italian or a Spaniard, single, 28-38, cute, fun, and athletic. I got a wide range of responses, some of which I thought I would post here and comment on them.
MOST OUTRAGEOUS:
"This is the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – not the Diversified States of America
If you love your ethnicity so much – move back to your country of ethnic origin
F.Y.I. My ancestors are Native American Indian and I am tired of all your illegal bull shit Join the U. S. Marine Corps like I did and earn the right to be an American
I am proud to be an American ... and I only speak English"
My Thoughts? The guy's a friggin'bitter loser. I could go on with an angry rampage but I won't.
MOST PERVERTED:
"cute/hot/sexy/fit/clean/healthy/hung, educated/professional/witty/charming/deep, fun/adventurous/naughty 30's WM in SF is "up" for exploring a connection with you..."(This email was accompanied with a picture of a guy's exposed penis.)
My Thoughts: Dude, I've seen better-looking penises.
NONSENSICAL #1:
The email starts out with all of the guy's self-proclaimed wonderful qualities. Then he follows it with: "But then there is a caveat to it :-( I am in US only for next 2weeks and leaving country forever."
My Thoughts: Hey, bubba, why do you think I want to meet someone who's leaving the country in two weeks???
NONSENSICAL #2
"I want you to look into my green eyes"
My thoughts: If you want me to look into your green eyes, why did you send me a picture of you wearing sun shades????
MOST OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY:
"so what you say: u think I am that mr. right then what are u waiting for, get back to me. what u got to loose? you will have good time and if I am not your type, slap me and get on with your life. you have to give chance to some one, then why not me? now don't keep me waiting,get back to me,the sooner u do, the sooner u are close to happiness. have a great day."
My Thoughts: (1) Learn how to spell, dumbass. (2) Actually, the sooner I delete this egotistical email, the sooner I will be closer to happiness.
MOST HYPERSENSITIVE
"Hi,I dont know why you dont like indians,If i can impress you ,are u ok with indian,"
My Thoughts: Hey, who said I don't like Indians? I just have a preference for certain type of men. Keep browsing the ads, dude. I'm sure you'll find someone who has a preference for Indians or someone who has no preference at all.
Despite the specificity of my ad, I still got responses from guys who:(1)were from other ethnic groups but assumed that their proficiency of the Spanish language (whatever that proficiency may be) somehow would make me overlook the fact that they were neither Brazilian, Italian or Spanish. (2) much older than 38 (I'm talking guys old enough to be my dad!) and (3) Guys who didn't even come close to being athletic (unless you consider competitive eating to be an athletic sport!)
Despite all of the above, it hasn't been all bad. I've exchanged emails and met with some folks who have been fun to chat with and who have piqued my curiosity to learn more about them. People ask me what I expect to get out of this whole online dating thing given the tons of weirdos that are out there in the virtual dating world. Very simply, I want to meet people from particular cultural groups with whom I can practice speaking other languages with and with whom I might share other common interests with. If a romantic connection happens to come out of one these encounters, great. And, if not, maybe I've made a cool friend with whom I can just chat and chill with on occasions.
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5 comments:
Come on. I can feel the tender caring side of Marine #1. Read betweeen the lines. He is the one. :)
HAHA! This a great post, Carol. But you're right, it still doesn't get much better than Mr. United States. I am glad you posted a new blog - I was actually going to send you an email giving you shit for not having updated your site in 2 weeks =)
Chris: You're right. I think the angry marine is just misunderstood. :P
Morgan: Yeah, I had slacked on my blog. Hey, maybe the interval training tomorrow will be so noteworthy that I'll have a new blog on Friday (e.g., I sprint till I puke, I hit 30 mph going into a headwind ~ haha, yeah right! =)
haha, but if it's a headwind, my blog would say something like this: "I sprinted til I puked - I hit 12 mph going into a headwind!" =)
i actually liked the MOST OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY dude.
online dating... weirdos are weirdos, regardless of where they come from...online, bar, bike ride, at work, bart, wedding. it doesn't matter.
have fun.
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