An Attitude Adjustment

Have you ever taken up an activity that requires coordination, deftness, and memory retention and felt absolutely frustrated because you found yourself struggling? Well, I found myself very frustrated during my capoeira class (Brazilian martial art) last night. Granted, last night was only my sixth capoeira class and many of the people in the class have taken capoeira for years. Still, I'm the kind of person that expects to have a natural inclination towards all things athletic. Yeah, yeah, I know, things don't work that way but that's the way my mind works nonetheless.

My frustration began to build when the instructor started throwing in complicated combinations (at least complicated to me): kick here, kick there, spin your body this way, spin your body that way, etc. In its' physical manifestation, the frustration was evidenced by my deep sighs, furrowed brows, and muttering under my breath. Mentally, I was thinking, "Why can't I get this?", "Why is she throwing in complicated combinations in a beginners class?" and "Maybe I should just leave and go do my grocery shopping." Of course, deep down inside I kned I didn't have it in me to quit the class halfway through so I was stuck trying to talk myself out of my negative attitude.

The funny thing is, I knew I was feeling frustrated, I didn't want to feel frustrated and, yet, I got even more frustrated at myself for feeling frustrated! Talk about a vicious cycle.

Luckily, Sarah (a very experienced capoerista) saw me standing helplessly in the back of the room and worked with me one-one-one. Working with Sarah lifted my spirits.

Towards the end of class, we formed our roda (a roda consists of a group of people and musicians in a circle wherein they clap, sing and play musical instruments while two individuals "fight" or "play" (depends on the type of game being played). I knew from past experience that beginners were expected to get in the game but I had no intention of playing last night. I thought I would blend in with the crowd and make myself invisible until the roda ended. My plans were quickly evaporated when Luis came up to me and encouraged me to play the game. As crappy as I was feeling, I knew I would walk out feeling crappier if I turned down the opportunity to play so into the circle I went. Coincidentally, I got to play with Sarah and it turned out not to be so bad.

Last night, I was again reminded how our attitude shapes our perceptions and our experiences. I now wish I had been more successful at talking myself out of my frustration, put in my best efforts, and been satisfied with the fact that I was at least trying. I can't take back my negative attitude from last night but I can use this experience in the future as a reminder when I catch myself spiralling into a deaftist mode while trying something new or challenging: A positive attitude will keep me motivated and get me much farther than a negative attitude. As my peeps say, "Si se puede!"